Brewer's Droop #283
PEOPLE AND MARKETING TECHNIQUES THAT ARE JUST PLAIN RUDE
Last month I had a little rant about the ubiquitous growth of computer platforms and the fact that every man and his dog appear to be developing new ones. So this time I thought I might have a go at contact etiquette and I’ve picked a few which really annoy me.
The first thing: when I answer my phone do not say ‘How are you?’ I have no clue who you are and you don’t have the politeness to ask me if it’s convenient to talk. Click.
The second one are those calls which immediately launch into an automated sales pitch. Click.
The third one is the proliferation of people who make a habit of talking into speaker phones. The sound is muffled and, in any case, I want to know who, and how many people I’m talking to. Call me back person-to-person or, preferably, don’t call me back. The correct thing to do, following the polite introductions, is to tell me I’m on a speaker phone and who else is listening.
I may forgive you if you’re speaking from your car phone – but only if I’m calling you, not the other way round. Call me when you’re stationary or back in your office – or even a pub is okay.
Sometimes they say, rather accusingly, ‘you’re breaking up.’ Well, it’s not my phone. It’s probably because you’re using a car or home speaker phone. Try again.
Click – and I don’t always answer even if they do try again.
Then there are those insufferable spammers who send me emails.
Look, this is my business. I know what I’m talking about. If you want to market yourself or your product, via a direct route (like social media or emails or whatever) here are a few basic rules.
First of all, identify your target market and then try to be as relevant and polite as possible.
Don’t send multiple messages every single bloody day – it just annoys potential customers and that’s not a good idea.
Try to personalise the messages if you can. It works infinitely better.
There are those who, no matter how hard I try, I cannot unsubscribe or successfully mark them as spam. Here are just a few I get daily:
Africa Regional Media
Watches Tell Time
Ned bank (note the space)
And there are more I can’t be bothered to remember at this minute. But they all have one thing in common; I will never, NEVER buy anything from them.
They should remember that and stop their sloppy, lazy and pathetic mailings.
And then I get calls from people who want to know if they’re calling me. Sigh. Yes you are. Then they ask for my ID number.
‘No, I won’t tell you.’
‘But I need that to continue.’ Click.
‘Hello, is that Christopher Brewer?’
‘I’m not buying anything.’
‘Oh but this isn’t a sales call, I’d like to set up a meeting between you and our investment manager.’
And on it goes. I’m going to stop this rant now. But if you have a few pet hates of your own I’d like to hear about them. Don’t be afraid to name names.
Before I go I’d like to mention that I’m becoming increasingly interested in words and their etymology. I found something interesting recently about the word ‘hello’. Apparently it’s a fairly new word and was developed as a greeting when telephones became common. People felt they had to say something when they answered, without divulging their name. It derived from the old Middle English hunting cry of ‘hallow’ and the Old French ‘haloer’.
By the way, at around the same time, the American Government had to introduce Income Tax because they’d lost so much income on alcohol sales (Prohibition). Something our governments should remember. But I suppose the nature of most governments is that they forget so quickly.
The last point on etymology is this: when Dr. Johnson published his dictionary (Fleet Street in 1765) he had many messages from pious ladies who congratulated him for leaving out all the swear words etc., to which he replied ‘I thank those good ladies for persevering with continually looking them up.’
Well, I find it interesting anyway.
My kindest regards,
Chris (Please feel free to forward this link to anyone you think may be interested).