Brewer's Droop #263
I’VE BEEN PROPER POORLY
It’s not much of an excuse I know, but one of the reasons I haven’t written for a while is because I’ve had something peculiar and possibly nasty going on in an organ or two.
I had managed to get my weight down to 98kg about a year or so ago (in preparation for a holiday) which just meant I was fat – but not clinically obese.
But then I continued to lose weight and within a few weeks I was down to below 90kg. A few weeks after that I was 79kg. That’s when I started to feel a little concerned. Oh, it was great to get into smaller sizes, don’t get me wrong. Then, one day at the gym, a week or two later, I clocked in at below 68kg so – I decided to see a doctor.
I won’t bore you with the whole story but, after 4 “specialists” and 3 hospital admissions I’m putting weight back on (72kg yesterday) so at least the loss has stopped.
The last specialist said “all clear – come back and chat about things in 6 months or so.”
I won’t be checking out just yet then! Unlike…..
DSTV – THE TIME HAS COME I’M AFRAID
I was one of the earliest advertisers on M-Net (or whatever it was called at the time – which is irrelevant because it’s all one conglomerate now). It was a joy working with a small team and I was surprised that such a small office and team could achieve so much. All lovely people (some still are).
I recall the shares were available at R1.00 each (at least they were to me because I was given some special deal – unless my memory’s playing tricks.) My broker told me not to be so stupid, telling me “it’ll never last because the SABC is too strong”. I was seriously going to buy 500. If only. I wonder what that holding would be worth now after all the splits, mergers and so forth?
Anyway, let’s just say that if I saw my broker walking down the street today I’d run him over and then reverse just to make sure. That’s very unlikely as he sadly died a few year ago (I mean it – honest – it was sad). Perhaps I’d only run over his toes then.
But apart from that there were so many viewers who were eternally grateful for having some decent programming. The irony, (which I’ll get onto in a sec) is that some of those programmes are still running! (Well, nearly).
However, since those days in the early ’90’s the company’s become “corporate” which, as we all know, relies on pond life like accountants and tax dodgers and others whose only love are their calculators. And they know next to nothing about TV – just balance sheets.
So, every year they raise the subscription rates (I was going to say “any day now” but, as I write this, I learn my subscription has gone up from R874pm to R899. Okay it’s only 2.9% but that’s not the point). They add precious little in terms of entertaining viewing. Mind you, they had some luck with the SA/AUS test match at Newlands didn’t they?
Digital Satellite TV, the core business of Naspers’ Multichoice, seems to have been oblivious to the advances of Internet TV and shrugged off ETV. They just watched happily as the SABC lost increasingly more more business to them (and maybe even a little bit to ANN7 as well, which must have hurt even the hardest heart at our national broadcaster).
I had a quick glance at the programming delights available to me today and this is what I found.
The entire “Friends” series (yes, from the very beginning in 1994) continues to be repeated so much that the cast actually hate each other by now I should think). Amazingly good writers and actors though.
“Top Gear” (which I never, ever, watch) continues to be repeated even since before Jeremy Clarkson started beating people up.
“QI”? Do me a favour – every single episode I tune into I’ve seen before at least once. Therefore I know all the answers.
“Deal or No Deal” and “Pointless” have caught up though haven’t they? They’re now broadcasting episodes from 2010 – so only 8 years old then.
There are just so many more old programmes in the “general entertainment” area. It’s as if they don’t care.
And then, of course, there are the cooking channels. How many are there? I honestly can’t keep up but they all look very dull to me. I mean, where’s the fun in seeing who can boil a 5 minute egg the fastest?
Most of the “culture” programmes I accidentally stumble onto are repeats and still as boring as when I watched them in the first place. So I remain a peasant.
However, the people at DStv should not be upset by what I’ve said. Whenever I phone them about something they’re always polite. Ahem, there are a couple of exceptions though. The first is if I lose my signal the very LAST people I’d phone would be them – all they can do is read instructions off a screen.
The second is the person who sends me a phone message to say that if I don’t pay my fee (which I’ve never missed) by tomorrow (last day in the month) they will cut me off. I find the tone rather offensive – even slightly desperate. In fact the message must have been written by someone completely devoid of communication skills. What makes me really angry is that they actually owe ME money – from when we changed address! I really think that goes way beyond rudeness.
So hey, ho, I’m setting up for the big world of internet TV.
I doubt they’ll miss me – but they should because, from what I hear and read, they’re losing premium subscribers (like me) at an alarming rate even though the cheaper packages seem to be growing (which sounds like the thin edge of the wedge), and soon those viewers too are going to realise their value for money is fast disappearing.
I hope Naspers has something up it’s sleeve because I suspect DStv could be facing serious trouble.
So Jacob Zuma has, at last, had his first day in court – well, the first official one as a citizen anyway – on Friday 06 April 2018. The case(s) should reach finality by 2038 but he’ll be too old and frail to serve any jail time. On the bright side, we’re so used to this guy costing the taxpayer so much that a few billion in legal fees isn’t going to be noticed. Much.
Almost time to get the warm pyjamas out!