Brewer's Droop #255

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‘TIS THE SEASON

I decided, as a holiday treat mainly for myself, to resurrect my talent for making Margaritas.

So off I go to Checkers because they’ve been advertising some great wine deals recently. But before I went into their bottle store I had a couple of things to pick up in the supermarket.

I put it all (not very much actually) into a big trolley because I was anticipating buying a few cases of wines on special as well as the cocktail stuff.

As I wheeled out of the main shop to the bottle store I noticed that there wasn’t going to be a lot of room for my trolley in their narrow aisles. None of the immediate staff at the entrance had any helpful suggestions as to where I should park my shopping and, in the end, I left it under the care of a lady who was setting up some kind of charity stand.

Inside I congratulated myself on my decision because not only were the aisles very narrow there were five (yes, count them, five) Checkers’ staff doing a kind of stock take or something like that. There were only five aisles so it became quite a challenge of negotiating.

I should have mentioned that this was on a Saturday morning – about 09:30.

These people made some of the aisles impassable. So I wandered around the store quickly (constantly checking out through the door that my trolley was still there) and decided that the idea of trying to buy any cases of wine was not possible. I did mention this to one of the staff, saying I was going to Ultra instead but he appeared not to be listening.

That meant I just had two things to buy – a bottle of Tequila and a bottle of Triple Sec (I had enough lemons you see).

Now I can’t find Tequila anywhere so I ask what appeared to be a young trainee where I could find some. “What was that again?” he asked. “Tequila” I said.

After the initial puzzlement he remembered! “Just follow me sir and we went to the first aisle where there was a rather large lady squatting down counting bottles. She had clearly moved a few centimetres down and, in doing so, revealed the Tequila. “Thanks!”

Now for the Triple Sec – can’t be hard to find. But, no, I can’t find it anywhere. So with a heavy heart I go back to the trainee who’s re-taken his post in front of the fridge (more to be unobtrusive than anything else I suspect). “Do you know where the Triple Sec is?”

“Beg yours sir?”

“Triple sec.”

“what’s that?”

“It’s a liqueur.”

“Well we have liquor everywhere sir, this is a liquor store” he smiled (rather condescendingly I thought) at having corrected the old duffer who was spoiling his morning.

“No. You don’t understand. I’m guessing you’re a trainee of some kind? (he nodded). Well, I suggest that you ask your boss to explain the difference between ‘liquor’ and ‘liqueur’. On second thoughts – forget it” and I went to the cashier and asked her. She called someone a little bit senior who nodded her head as an indication that I should follow her. Which I did.

Back to aisle number one where the fat squatting lady had moved a few more centimetres and, in doing so, exposed two brands of Triple Sec. With a slightly impatient look, the other lady went back about her business.

I, on the other hand, rushed back home and immediately furiously squeezed lemons, put salt around the rims of the glasses, put all ingredients into the shaker and shook up a storm, only stopping twice to add more tequila (“well, a little extra is bound to make it better”) and then served.

I drank that one quite quickly, as did the others, and I think I tried to make another but something had happened to my legs. In fact both of them were pissed and refused to go where I wanted them to go.

I woke up a few hours later wondering where everyone was.

I was intending making it the official Christmas drink this year but I think the recipe requires a little tweeking.

END OF THE YEAR

Anyway, 2016 has been a year of mixed emotions. Lost some dear friends but made some new, delightful ones too. After a couple of medical procedures I am now officially “healthy as a 20 year old” (how do these doctors exaggerate so much and get away with it?)

Christmas is always a special time of year and I suspect that, regardless of most religions, everyone feels much the same way. It’s a time for peace and goodwill to all. I don’t support any religion and am only seriously opposed to a couple but as the season gets closer I get a warm fuzzy feeling and I sense that in many others too.

So I hope your own warm fuzzy feeling is growing and that you have a safe and loving Christmas and New Year.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Chris (no, the holiday wasn’t named after me – it was another guy).

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Comments

  1. Very funneeeee!

    Thanks for all your blogs this year Chris – I always look forward to them.

    You have safe and happy Christmas too!

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  2. Keep up the good stuff!!

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  3. I always look forward to your blogs. They give me so many smiles and plenty of thoughts. I wish you a wonderful Festive Season and a very happy 2017. We need a very good 2017. Stay safe.

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  4. Lovely blog as always, Chris. Your Liquor store experience sounds exactly like mine to the Checkers one in Kloof Street. I think it is called ‘Working to the Book’?
    Have a lovely Holiday season.

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  5. Cheers to you too, Chris.

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  6. We have the same problem with our Woolies (a small one) down the road. They are forever restocking their shelves so you can’t get at the item you want, no matter what time of day. Drives me crazy so I try and avoid that one as much as possible. Complaints don’t seem to make a difference. Have a good Christmas and New Year Chris.

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  7. The best booze place is still Makro! Great wine selection and super helpful staff.

    Good luck tweaking the drinks recipe!

    Happy warm and fuzzy season to you too!

    xxx

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  8. Happy Christmas, Chris! Hope it is a tequila-filled (oops family-filled) one that is just awesome!

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  9. Have a marvellous time over the festive season, wishing you a happy and healthy 2017 – and keep blogging, just love them xx

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  10. Loved your Checkers story and at least now I don’t feel alone, as I thought I was the only one who had these experiences.
    Remember “healthy as a 20 year old” is not much of a compliment these days, given the poor shape they are in.

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  11. Love to you Chris…..ace laugh xxxxx

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  12. Just loved loved loved – as I do all of your droops…. kept anticipating your full trolley emptied

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  13. Long may the fabulous ‘Droops’ continue! Wishing you a marvellous, happy, warm, fuzzy Christmas and a splendiferous 2017. Be safe and happy. Hope the legs make it through the Tequila season. (And study up on those words that so confused the trainee booze brain at Checkers!)

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  14. A blessed festive season to all and sundry (me being the sundry). Carry on tweaking! Just don’t overdo the twerking. And please come back in the New Year to cheer our hearts. We need more innocent laughter in our lives in what has become the roller coaster of life in SA.

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  15. Now wonder the shebeens are doing so well, always good service with a toothless smile!

    Thanks for the laugh Chris.

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  16. Just spent 4 wonderful weeks in your delightful city !!

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  17. Brilliant (as always) ! I totally relate to your experience (including their unfriendly till staff). On the few occasions that I end up there, I am reminded of exactly why I don’t shop at Checkers on a regular basis. Have an absolutely wonderful, warm and fuzzy Christmas and see you on New Years Eve ! I hope you write a blog on breaking your long-standing resolution not to celebrate that, in the New Year. May 2017 be a great one for you.

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