Brewer's Droop #245
Well, I’m confused. It’s like a child in a sweet shop. I don’t know where to even begin – there’s so much material to rant about.
So I’ve decided not to say anything about anything – except to add that it’s almost two years ago when I said SAA would have to be sold.
Could be right on the money!
TIS THE SEASON
Instead, as my last blog of the year I’m going to concentrate on other things – Accolades and Harmony.
As there are SO many awards going around at the moment (in fact the whole industry’s awash with them) I thought that I’d create my own as 2015 draws to a close.
First up is “PR Man Of The Year” – and that goes to Prof. Tim Noakes. The amount of free publicity he’s achieved for himself, his work and his books is unprecedented – all thanks to a jealous bunch of back-stabbing “scientists” who, frankly, bring the entire academia down to its knees. He’s a nice man too.
Second is Trevor Noah as “Ambassador of the Year”. He’s done more good work for South Africa than any government department could have even dreamed of. And all with a smile. It’s just a pity that we haven’t seen the full results of his positive affect on tourism yet.
Next is “Magician of the Year” and that goes to Malusi Gigaba (Home Affairs Minister) for his amazing trick of making thousands of tourists simply disappear. Even David Copperfield would have been impressed. (Note: he was also in the running for the “man squeezing into a suit two sizes too small” but I think this one is more deserved).
Then there’s “Comedian of the Year” – well that, obviously has to go to our President, Jacob Zuma. Who will ever forget his side-splitting laughter in Parliament (even if the joke was lost on most of the audience). And don’t even mention his inability to read out numbers with more than four digits.
Closely followed by “Clown of the Year”. Nobody came close to taking this award away from Julius Malema. His recent performances in the UK highlighted his brilliance at juggling presidents. First he did a great act with Zuma but that soon collapsed just like a clown car. Then, turning his back on Zuma he jumped onto Uncle Bob Mugabe’s knee and praised him as a wonderful example of leadership. But when Bob didn’t want to play, Julius became really antsy and went to court the British (you know, the original colonialists). So he gets to wear the big red nose again.
“Employee of the Year” must go to Hlaudi Motsoneng for his amazing endurance in holding onto his job at the SABC – despite being ordered to leave many times. He’s still there. Probably giving himself another pay rise too.
The “Soap Opera Queen” award is well-deserved by Communications Minister Faith Muthambi for her outstanding work in running the SABC all on her own. Nobody else gives her credit so I’m pleased for her.
And then there’s my personal favourite, “Dubious Chairperson of the Year” of which SAA’s Dudu Myeni, wins hands down. How she’s managed to defy everyone and opt for a seemingly ridiculous aircraft lease deal (which may very well plunge SAA into real bankruptcy) astonishes even her friends in Government. Nobody could have lost more cash so quickly. And her speed in kicking out anyone who even looks at her askance truly makes your eyes water.
And, by the way, even Wikipedia is having a hard time trying to keep up with who the current CEO of SAA is. It changed even as I was writing this.
Her latest triumph was to tell all the SAA pilots (who voted no confidence in her and her board) to bog off – while her lesser intelligent sycophants managed to get “racist” into the debate and suggested they leave and work elsewhere. Now that would have been a first – an airline without pilots.
Runner up in the “Litigant of the year award” goes to Steve Hofmeyer for failing to beat the puppet Chester Missing (who is, let’s face it, a lot smarter). There is no outright winner in this category because the case(s) are sub judice.
AND NOW FOR PEACE & HARMONY
I won’t be blogging again before Christmas (I can’t be bothered to be PC so if you don’t celebrate it then just have a nice rest okay?)
Be safe over the holidays and, it seems to me, that this may be a good time of year to do a little inner reflection and stop concentrating on hate and, instead, be thankful for all the wonderful things we have – like single malt whisky for example.
(And pork pies).
If you’re driving then allow a lot more time for your journey and slow down a bit. You may not kill yourself then (but, more importantly, you won’t take me with you.)
Love to all and chat next year.
(I forgot to mention Thai Crispy Duck – be grateful for that too).
Oh yes, and bacon sandwiches. With pickle obviously.