Brewer's Droop #241
The great thing about having a blog and not being owned by a political party (or advertisers) is that you get to write what you really feel.
And there are so many choices of subject at the moment – from dead children on Turkish beaches to Japanese creating devastation at the World Cup to the EFF bleating about Afrikaans (again).
Humans are a strange bunch really when you think about it. There have been millions upon millions of people murdered, raped, tortured, mutilated, dispossessed, put into slavery throughout Africa and yet we obliviously trot off to watch our favourite sport or argue politics over a fillet steak somewhere. It’s not until our minds are alerted to the slaughter of an old lion by a demented dentist that we suddenly spring into action and post angry Facebook messages. Then we’re totally diverted when we see the picture of a little boy (note, not a starving little boy – which, perhaps, makes it even more sinister) washed up on a tourist coastline and “offer to help” (but do we really?). Then, within a couple of weeks, Bob Geldorf rounds up a few mates and they produce a hit record which probably doesn’t save a single life (not as a nett result anyway) but makes huge piles of cash for someone.
Until countries begin applying the “refugee status” as defined by the UN and closing their borders to migrants (who, after all, are just deserting their own countries and abandoning their fellow citizens for money) then the immigration/emigration problems will never be resolved. And all those bleeding hearts (like that silly wannabe leader of the Labour Party in the UK, Yvette Cooper, who beat all the others in using human tragedy to score some serious PR points) stop offering to “take in” and “look after” those sad faces we see on TV should just shut up and realise this isn’t a Christmas puppy you’re talking about. Wake up and be sensible.
Let’s assume that the few thousand good-hearted but misguided “luvvies” in Britain who have volunteered, can house 15,000 migrants. Okay, so that’s Monday morning sorted. Now what about Monday afternoon and the rest of the year with increasing thousands and, ultimately, millions, of people swarming into Britain?
Don’t look at sad pictures. Do the math.
As for the EFF (and their ilk) with their threats and racist manipulations, do you think they have a special department which comes up with ideas to deliberately cause mayhem? They don’t seem to be making many statements about what they would DO to improve the country but seem to spend a lot of time disrupting everyone else. That probably means they’ll get even more votes in the next general election – given our voters’ aptitude to pick the worst people possible. And here’s an idle thought, why don’t all those who actually pay taxes just refuse to keep paying? When the people withhold their money then all politicians are basically fucked. And that might be a good thing.
And students who complain about languages? Do me a favour! You’re privileged to be at a university in the first place – study in the language they’ve been using since they were built. What will they do next – object to learning Latin because they currently need it to be lawyers? (That’s what ultimately defeated me by the way.)
And on the subject of language, I don’t want to talk about depressing things, I want to talk about the English language and the way the British speak.
I’m motivated by the Twitter site @soverybritish (where you can find books and very funny quips).
Meanings of “hmm”…
I doubt it.
Never thought of it like that.
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.
The quality of things…
“Not bad” – Perfectly adequate.
“Not too bad” – Surprisingly good.
“Not too bad at all” – Best thing ever.
“In a minute” – In an hour or two.
“In a bit” – Sometime this week.
“Leave it with me” – Never.
Ways to say “I won’t be coming”
“I might pop down”
“I’ll give you a text”
“I’ll see how I feel”
“I’ll do my very best to be there”
In the West Country where I was born and bred the word “Proper” was used prolifically. You could say, for example, “Oh, that bacon sandwich looks proper” (meaning very good of course). It could also be used to describe a young lady, where a man might say to his mate, “cor, she’s proper” and his friend might very well reply “oh yes, she’s proper proper”. I have no idea why that still makes me chuckle.
There are other things the English say which can be very confusing. For example;
When they mishear once: “Pardon?”
Mishear twice: “Sorry?”
Mishear again: “Haha, yes, exactly”
“Yeah, could do” – Translation: “That is a terrible plan, please remain quiet while I quickly think of an alternative.”
“I’m afraid it’s a bit on the well done side” – Translation: “I’ve burnt it to hell.”
“Don’t quote me on that” – Translation: “I’m making all this up.”
“Anyway, I won’t keep you…” – Translation: “Please go away and leave me alone.”
“I’ll have a think” – Translation: “I’ll ignore all the suggestions you just made.”
“You may have a point” – Translation: “You’re talking absolute crap.”
“Right, who’s going to the bar?” – Translation: “We all know who should go to the bar.”
“This doesn’t look right to me” – Translation: “We seem to be driving across a field.”
And lastly my favourite: “Only 100 days until Christmas? Better get the sprouts on…”
Any day now I’m going to discard my jeans and start living in shorts again. I just hope the neighbours aren’t as frightened as they were last year.
Anyway, I won’t keep you.