Brewer's Droop #227

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I misplaced my cell phone the other day so, like most normal people, I phoned it from another phone to try and work out where it was.

I didn’t actually hear it ring but the cat levitated from the vibrating cushion so that was a clue.


E-tolling Gauteng’s highways has failed and the system falls short of its intentions, the Opposition to Urban Tolling Alliance (Outa) said on Tuesday.

“This system is falling far short of its intentions and targets,” Outa chairman Wayne Duvenage told public hearings in Midrand on the impact of e-tolls.

“We are not saying it will fail, we are saying it has failed.”

The Gauteng Freeway Improvement Project (GFIP) was necessary, but things could have been done differently to ease congestion on the roads.

Duvenage said the system was not thoroughly researched.

E-tolling was launched in December and Duvenage said it was clear the public would continue to reject it…the hearings are intended to examine the economic and social impact of the GFIP and the electronic tolling system set up to fund it. The panel is expected to present its findings to premier David Makhura at the end of November.
[Citizen 02 Sept 2014]


I walked past a newsstand the other day and noticed that the headlines were blaring out that Oscar Pistorius could be paying as much as R100,000 per court day and that he’d recently been selling his fixed assets.

Some journalist asked him “how he was coping?” and I’m not sure what his answer was but I know what I would have said. It wouldn’t have been polite.

The bottom line is that, no matter what the result, he’s lost his home(s), his reputation, his dignity and still has to face the litigious revenge of Reeva Steenkamp’s family. And, most sad of all of course, he’s lost Reeva herself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not on his side nor do I defend what he did. What really confuses me are the legal costs.

Let’s assume, for one moment, that it was, in fact, a tragic accident and he didn’t plan to kill her. It will cost him millions of Rands to prove his innocence – and he’ll be destroyed forever.

On the other hand, if it was all a devious plan to try and confuse the police and that he hoped to get clean away with murder, the State should not have to pay millions just to secure a conviction.

So where do all these “costs” disappear to?

Well, my guess is that it goes to all those guys who love seeing themselves on TV and who absolutely love being able to be as rude as possible to the witnesses (who only came to help after all). How they haven’t had their respective noses broken several times amazes me.

Any normal person would have lost the case – guilty or not.

To pretend that there is justice for all in South Africa (or the World for that matter) is to be naive in the extreme. Justice is a very expensive commodity and affordable only by a very few people.


Just because the limit is 120 kph it doesn’t mean it’s non-negotiable that I have to drive at that speed. I’m perfectly entitled to travel at 80 kph if I wish (and enjoy about a 50% less chance of avoiding an accident than if I was doing 120 – or more).

There’s a single lane road outside the complex where I live and the limit is 60kph so I usually set my speed control at that. The number of people that creep up my ass until their bonnet is only a few centimetres away from my back bumper is astonishing. More surprising still is the number of people who flash their lights and hoot – telling me to go faster.

As much as I would like to believe they are in a crisis or there’s an emergency at home, there’s no way that I’m going to speed. And since I can’t pull over, they have to wait until I reach the end of the road.

Sometimes, if it’s someone I recognise as having done this before, I slow down to 40 and that sends them into a fury.

Reducing the deaths on our roads is quite simple and one of the biggest ways is for everyone to drive slower and more politely. Another is not drinking and the other is to ban all cabinet ministers (and their blue light out-riders) from driving at all – they can catch the bus.


And another thing….We all know that Britain will relax its visa requirements for South Africans once the amount of fraud has been dealt with. Well, it’s clear that not much is being done, so here’s my plan:

No senior manager of Home Affairs, no Cabinet Minister and no member of parliament will be issued with a visa until this mess is sorted. If they try and enter Europe they will be turned away.

Let’s see how long it takes for the matter to be resolved then!


Spring has sprung – visit and subscribe to our databases and put some bounce in your business!


(I was once asked out by Julia Roberts you know. I was in her hotel room at the time;-)

Filed as:


  1. Reeva Foreman? Steenkamp, perhaps?

    • Well spotted – shows how much interest I’ve been taking! (Fixed now)

  2. I have the best cure for a tail-gater… Next time they creep up, innocently clean your windscreen. The water usually sprays everywhere, including the car behind you… Annoys the crap out of them and usually makes me giggle knowing their black X5 is now covered in soapy little spots!

  3. “Will the consumer win for a change?” – I think you have more chance of Julia Roberts REALLY asking you out.

    • ha ha

  4. Fittingly refreshing as usual – especially as Spring has sprung!!

  5. “Duvenage said the system was not thoroughly researched.” – Duvenage is wrong – it was very thoroughly researched. They just rejected the financial modeller’s assessment when she told them it would not work. These guys did not like it when the financial consultants they hired to research the job told them the truth, and not what they wanted to here. Its not a lack of research, its sheer bull-headedness.

  6. there was a time when all concerned (motoring) advised that courtesy costs nothing. Now it is a matter of getting there first, regardless of wherever may be

    • Wally, it’s amazing. If you’re courteous on the roads you’ll get there about 5 minutes behind the asshole BUT you’ll have spread a little happiness around.

      What a nice idea.

      • For sure courtesy costs nothing and gives me a bit of a thrill because I’m being nice (for a change!). It also makes for a more pleasant drive to/from work. I’ve EVEN let taxis in!!! Now how nice is that! Drive nicely folks and play Vivaldi in the car – I can’t believe how relaxed it makes me feel – certainly less stressed than listening to 702’s horror stories on the way home (and I love that radio station! Honestly). It’s so much easier to catch flies with honey ……..

  7. I guess to solve any government ‘challenges’ like visa, education, health, transport, etc one only needs to enact one law. A law that demands that any public servant is to use only publicly available services and to go through any procedure that any other citizen would have to ordinarily subject themselves to. Its funny how that has solved problems in the past, google ‘Great Stink’ relating to the Victorian sewer system.

    • If I remember correctly, the “big stink” was solved when politicians couldn’t attend parliament without holding handkerchiefs to their noses. The problem (that many had been suffering with for years) was solved extremely quickly.

      Good point.

  8. “Visa’s”???? How about Visas? (I thought the rampant apostrophe only rules in New Zealand!)

    • Don’t be silly Lynne. I’m writing to you therefore the “visa” belongs to you – it’s your visa – hence visa’s. Lot’s of people get this wrong and complain until there blue in the teeth. Makes me angry to. But I think Im right in this case. Unfortunately I dont have a grate record.

      • Grate or great record I’m still disagree. However, because I value and respect and ENJOY your writing and opinions so much, I will let you off. The apostrophe would only be correct if it was used to indicate possession of the visa, i.e. ‘The visa’s holder was someone ……”! Lynn’s visa is an entirely different issue…. :-) Thanks for all the good work. I really love receiving Brewer’s Droop.

  9. While you are correcting errors, you state “and enjoy about a 50% less chance of avoiding an accident than if I was doing 120 – or more”. I would have thought that it was 50% more chance of avoiding the accident.

    • Yes you’re right, more or less.

  10. I also had the problem with the ‘bumper chasers’ (especially the double cabs and German car drivers. My solution was simple. I had a bumper sticker made which reads: ‘The closer you get, the slower I go’. And if they do get onto my cars bumper, I simply go slower. But most of the times this bumper sticker does the trick and the moment they see it they (well most) keep a reasonable distance.

  11. Many accidents are caused by impatience and aggression – the opposites of courtesy to others.There’s a very simple way for people to start being more courteous on the roads – just say thanks. On the rare occasions when somebody thanks me for letting them into the traffic or change lanes, I feel slightly less aggressive. If more people said thanks, this could spread. Imagine a network of roads populated by people looking after each other and feeling good about it.

    • Yes!! You’re so right.

  12. It’s my guess he’d have lost Reeva within the week, anyway. She was not the sort of girl who needed to hang around taking abuse in any form. And there was definitely some of that: verbal, emotional, if not physical, as came out in court.
    While it isn’t my position to judge, I suspect he might just have realised that. Like many top sportsmen, he didn’t like losing.

  13. Haaa Haaa …thanks for the laugh Chris…!!!
    ….my day was a total waste of make-up until I read this. !!!!!
    (your come-back to Lynn especially…!)
    Paul & Lynn – you’re both correct! Chris – get a proof-reader !
    Luv yor kollim ! LOL

    • Thanks Pam!

      The first thing I read this morning so a great start to a Friday – oh to hell with it, make that the weekend!



  14. Look forward to getting your mail every month – this mail surpassed anything you have said before – Love the cell phone and cat story

    Keep up the great humour – we all need it!

    • Thanks Catharine – really pleased you liked it. How about dinner with me tonight?

  15. Mr B, you’ll have to read what you write – “grate record” really?!! And then you spelt Catherine’s name wrong…. if you get to do to dinner with her, she might make you pay the bill – ha ha.
    I ain’t “picky stevens” for nothing :-)

  16. Dear Picky,

    “Grate” was a joke – re-read it and try to do better next term.


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