Brewer's Droop #224
I MAY HAVE DISCOVERED HELL
Having been through a good number of public holidays in the past month I thought I might share an experience I had. It involves shopping in a large mall, so you pretty much know what to expect I’ll say.
You may even be scratching your head and asking yourself “why the hell would he want to do that?”
The reason I felt the need to go was because I wanted a new pair of shoes to wear with my tux when I go cruising in about a week’s time. So there. I also thought everyone would be outside enjoying the surprisingly warm weather. Wrong.
It seems that I stumbled onto a little known national pastime. Did you know there are thousands upon thousands of people who aimlessly wander around these Temples of Retail? AND they take their entire families with them “for a day out and a Wimpy” too!
And what is it about children that when they’re in a building with a high ceiling that echoes they have to run around everywhere, knocking over old ladies and screaming at the top of their voices while their parents lick ice creams (a part of which inevitably finds its way onto your sleeve).
But, man-up, bite the bullet and over the top we go chaps!
Now, we’ve all been told about the 80/20 principle where 20% of the staff write 80% of the business. Well, in the shopping mall shops 80% of the staff are moronic. I mean truly stupid.
“This size 10 won’t do – have you got it in a size 11?”
“No, but we do have it in a size 9.”
“Is it made of leather?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s plastic, or maybe it’s nylon.”
They don’t know what stock they carry, they don’t know where anything is. I doubt they even know the name of the shop they’re working in.
And why, in the name of everything holy, did shopping become a disco experience?
Did some expert tell retailers that really loud rap music will help sell more crystal glasses? I somehow don’t think so. Maybe a little smooth jazz or light classical but Rap? Really? And when you do find one of the 2 out of 10 shop assistants who actually does have a brain you each have to repeat everything you say because the music’s so damn loud!
How some of these shops stay in business amazes me – because I wasn’t the only one walking out empty handed and shaking their heads in dismay.
WOES OF THE AD INDUSTRY
Since I last wrote there have been a number of mergers and closures in the ad industry and, frankly, we’re in a bit of a mess aren’t we?
There’s total media chaos and confusion. Nobody seems to know where media is going (and don’t even ask about Social Media), the future of AMPS (and SAARF for that matter).
Bester Burke just said they’d had enough and decided to close – others didn’t have the luxury of such an option.
There are only a few talented agencies with highly experienced people who do really fabulous work – but there just aren’t enough of them. Clients are pulling their hair out trying to find an intelligent agency which can help them grow their businesses. Several significant clients have told me that they get their strategies written overseas!
If ever there was a time for young, talented people to step up to the plate and open their own shops, it’s now. Go for it!
OPEN SEASON ON THEFT & CORRUPTION EXTENDED BY 5 YEARS
Well, the ANC got more votes than I would like to have seen and whilst they didn’t get the smack in the mouth I was hoping for, they did, at least, get a tap on the nose.
Marius Fransman in the Western Cape must be particularly embarrassed and Jacob Zuma must be chewing his nails a bit more and wondering if the axe is going to fall and he might have to face all those fraud charges.
Good sense will eventually prevail but it might take 15 years – or even longer.
Most Droop readers know I’m not fond of tattoos so when I saw this posting from a lady on Facebook I thought it summed it up perfectly:
”When people ask why I have no tattoos I simply ask them if they’d stick a bumper sticker on a Ferrari.”
(Currently sipping a martini on the Grand Canal in Venice)