Brewer's Droop #218
IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE I KNOW
But the committee on liquor control is still discussing changes (the last one was two weeks ago and then this one a few days ago).
Not even John Cleese could write a script which is this funny. Well, not really funny at all – just plain stupid and a bureaucratic bungle of the highest order.
For those of you who read my last Droop (thanks to both of you) you’ll remember that I summarised all the changes made to this ridiculous by-law. It’s been changed just about every week since it was first (incorrectly) gazetted in September 2010 so it missed its effective implementation date of January 2011. But remember, it was in the planning stage for probably two years before 2010. You do the math on how much time has been wasted.
Anyway, it’s changed again. Yes, since the last Droop of two week’s ago, they’ve changed their minds again!
It’s sheer insanity and it’s being pushed by DA Councillor Taki Amira.
Which leads me to my first point. Councillor Amira, I really would like to see the DA win every election in which it’s involved. But I, for one, would NOT vote for you. I’d rather vote for Julius Malema – at least he gets things done!
Honestly Taki, you’ve got to get your act together (excuse the pun). You’re letting the entire DA down and you’re failing the people of Cape Town – and all who visit here.
Just abandon this liquor licensing by-law. It’s plainly ridiculous and you’ve made it so ambiguous that there will be appeal after appeal after appeal (if an offender ever gets to court).
At first, Taki Amira, wanted to ban champagne breakfasts, until he realised that quite a lot of important people rather enjoy these. So he back-tracked and said “okay, champagne is excluded.”
Then someone pointed out that not all “Champagne Breakfasts” actually served real champagne so the words were changed to say “excluding champagne and sparkling wine”.
Then Councillor Daniel Mphila (ANC) said that was “discriminatory” (these days you can bet on when and by whom the race-card will be introduced) and “what about traditional drinks?”
So the text was changed and they settled on one word which was “liquor”. This now meant that it remained legal to serve brandy or vodka or whisky with breakfast.
Now Taki has changed the words back to only allow “sparkling wine” again. By doing this he has, of course, wasted yet another Council year. If it ever does come into effect on 01 February 2014 it will have taken somewhere between four and six years to get this pathetic legislation through.
In the meantime, of course, Taki Amira has done more to PROMOTE Champagne Breakfasts than any Councillor before him.
But there’s many a slip between cup and lip so what’s the betting that there will be more changes and more delays as the Councillors continue with their internecine discussions?
Taki, go and get a proper job, in fact here’s a message to all of you on the committee: stop wasting our money!
THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN
Yes, it’s December again when we all start wondering if it’s PC to say the “C” word. (I mean “Christmas” obviously). I mean, suppose the person I say “Happy Christmas” to is Jewish, or Muslim or Buddhist or anything other than Christian? Will they be offended? Will they smite me?
I refuse, absolutely refuse, to Americanise the whole thing and say “Happy Holidays” (although that does make much more sense but I enjoy being obtuse).
Anyway, no matter what religion you follow (or not follow), the end of December has become synonymous with peace on earth, goodwill to all men and make-that-a-double please. And it culminates with a monster hangover (unless, like me, you avoid all parties and gently slide off your own couch at around 11pm without spilling a drop of Merlot).
So, to absolutely everyone I say, have a magnificent festive season. Please, please don’t drink and drive and please, please be careful on the roads – just add an extra 15 minutes on to your planned journey time so you can drive 10kms per hour slower. And if you’re late what’s the problem? Just get there alive and without killing anyone.
Love and Peace to everyone – even that frosty-faced bitch at the airport who insisted my briefcase was too big, and even Jacob Zuma.
May 2014 be the year when all good things happen for you and that the loving memory of Nelson Mandela lives on and keeps us all in harmony!