Brewer's Droop #193

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THIS SPORTING LIFE

A man goes to a casino with R100 and, after a couple of hours and hugely risky bets, he wins R1 million and is clearly very happy. Then, as he loses all sense of reality, the bets start going wrong and his pile of chips diminish to R150 and, since he’s now sitting at a table where the minimum bet is R200 wearily gets up and leaves.

When he gets home his wife asks how he did and he says “not bad, I won R50”.

Of course, he’s right. But he’s also wrong because he’s conveniently sanitised a critical part of the evening and forgotten that moment when he had a million. It’s myopic accountancy.

So when I read what Alec Moemi said recently about the costs of Beyonce performing at the SA Sports Awards it’s obvious that he’s as deluded as the man in the casino.

He denied the rumours and said they were a “fabrication” adding that any cost for bringing the star here might be part of a sponsorship package. In fact he said “if we can get Beyonce without paying for Beyonce we’d be very keen. It’s a lie to say we are paying for it…sponsors would pay for it. The base cost of the awards is ours.”

I’m hoping one of his friends will forward this message to him because he really does need a little lesson in fundamental cost-accounting.

You see Alec, if you have a sponsor who’s prepared to pay Beyonce R17m then they are going to want something in return and whichever way you cut it, that R17m is NOT going to reduce your “base cost” and our local stars will also be denied the opportunity of performing too.

You’re like the guy at the casino…if you’re doing a deal with a sponsor and he’s prepared to kick in that much money then tell him he can have the deal on condition that the cash stays in South Africa. Because when the party’s over you might wake up and think “at one stage we had R17m but we lost it.”

I agree that it’s very nice to rub shoulders (or any part of the body for that matter) with international stars, but R17m for an hour’s work and a couple of hours socialising with you and your mates? Really?

Come to think of it, I wonder how many teams could be sent to the Olympics for R17m?

So be smart Alec and help your Sports Minister, Fikile Mbalula out here, to prioritise what’s really important in sports development (a clue: it’s not about promoting an international singer who just bought her husband a R325 million plane for Father’s Day).

AN INTERESTING BUT LITTLE KNOWN FACT

The first testicular guard (“box”) was used in cricket in1874
And the first cricket safety helmet was used in 1974.
Which means….. It took 100 years for men to realise that their brains may also be important!

RETURN OF THE BLITHERING IDIOT

I was on a TV chat show some time ago (see Droop 184) and one of the guests was that myopic bigot, Dr. Salojee, who I doubt is capable of sitting the right way round on a lavatory let alone pontificate on social values.

He insisted that the anti-smoking legislation had been hugely successful in reducing the number of smokers – and I told him he was wrong, producing the figures to prove it.

But he arrogantly dismissed my numbers and said I’d cherry-picked only a couple of years to make my point but that if I looked at the complete picture then I’d agree that he was right.

I remembered this when I saw his rant in the press recently about how alcohol advertising should be banned, so this time I took all the figures from 1995 to 2011.

In 16 years the number of smokers is down by only 9% and he calls that success? And the contribution to that number from the banning of alcohol must be extremely small. Idiot.

Obviously the various bans surrounding smoking have mainly failed which is why he and his gang of we-know-what’s-best-for-you dickheads are introducing even more legislation so that smokers will be forced to stand in the middle of a field or stay at home if they wish to smoke.

Perhaps that’ll work?

Somehow I don’t think it will.

Having said that, truly responsible companies like Discovery, who actively encourage people to stop smoking by offering great incentives, are probably doing a far better job. In fact, they’re probably responsible for that small decrease anyway – so good for them.

I wonder if anyone has any information on that?

AND LASTLY, SOME BREAKING NEWS

All the toilets in the Sandton police station have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

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Comments

  1. “In 16 years the number of smokers is down by only 9% ”

    Sorry Chris, I do not think so. The TAXABLE cigarette sales, and therefore the accountable sales, may be down by 9%, but I’d bet you Monte Christo that the 9%, and more, has been made up by “Illegal” cigarettes.

    Nope, we don’t smoke less, we smoke more, just that due to high prices (monopolies by big Tobacco and government sin-taxes funding M-class Benzes) its been driven to cut-price and unaccountable cheap fags that is impossible to quantify. (yet why anyone would willingly puff on the cheap-and-nasties is beyond my comprehension.

    Time for government to stop interfering with personal choices, even if those choices could be seen as unhealthy. Which is also under dispute.

    Reply
    • Gerry, there’s no doubt that the illegal cigarette trade is booming and current government attitude will allow it to continue.

      Another interesting thing about the 9% is that there’s always an element of over or under-claiming in research. I doubt that anyone would say “yes I smoke” if they don’t – on the other hand, a smoker may well say “no I don’t”.

      So the REAL figure will almost definitely be less than 9%

      Reply
  2. I always knew that the Sandton Police weren’t quite flush!

    Reply
  3. Chris, I was horrified when I went to a 21st birthday party of about 60 young kids and every single one of them smoked and I said “Why, when you know now what we didn’t know many years ago” and they said “cause it’s cool”. !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
    • Whenever you BAN something it will always, but always, be “cool” amongst the younger age groups. Dr. Salojee seems to ignore that simple fact.

      Therefore he’s actually doing more harm than good.

      Reply
  4. I am sick and tired of the ‘Nanny System’. Who the f— has the right to tell us what to do with our own lives and bodies, What I find the most annoying is that we don’t have a choice
    For instance, long before the smoking bans, some restaurants chose to become non-smoking. And I chose not to go to them.
    BUT I would not be allowed to open a chain called Smokers catering for smokers and smoke friendly people. If you don’t smoke, or don’t like smoke stay the f— out of the venues. But no, that’s not allowed. Surely this goes against my constitutional rights?
    And, worst of all, the Government is making it almost impossible for the fag trade to operate. But will they ban the product? Not a f—-. They make trillions in taxes. The bastards.

    Reply
  5. Smoking – what about drinking? A recent joint study by the Dept. of Health and Road Traffic Authority indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related. That means that the remaining 77% are caused by arseholes who just drink tea, coffee, lattes, carbonated drinks, juices, milkshakes and shit like that. Therefore beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

    Reply
    • Heh. Heh. Heh. And another thing…breathing braai smoke is about 100 times more dangerous than second-hand tobacco smoke. I wonder when barbeques will be banned?

      Reply

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