Brewer's Droop #173

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As we’ll be expecting a flood of people here soon, a friend of mine sent me these driving tips for visitors to South Africa and we should pass them on to all the tourists we meet:

 
1. Never indicate – this will give away your next move. A real South African driver never uses them.
 
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 taxis and a BMW, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
 
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
 
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended.
 
5. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It’s a good way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.
 
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They are especially not applicable in South Africa during rush hour. That’s why it’s called ‘rush hour….’
 
8. Just because you’re in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a South African driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.
 
9. Learn to swerve abruptly. South Africa is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the government, which puts holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keeps them on their toes.
 
10. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after the light has turned red. It’s people not adhering to this basic principle that causes the big traffic jams during rush hour.

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